3. Relationships. The more I see, read and hear, well they’re not for me, at least not right now. I’ve never been good at them. Romantic ones anyway. For most of my life the Doors song, “Love Her Madly” was it. After a decade of hopping from one to the other, 3-4 month stints, I questioned it. I’m not easy to live with. I get bored easy and like to be on my own, an individualist. I need a lot of alone time and that doesn’t bode well with others. Now, this last one, I gave it my best shot, put my old ways to the side, put a year in and behaved myself. I ended up the butt end of the joke, until I got out and turned the tables. Granted did it leave me jaded, sure. Do I want to have anything to do with them for a while, not particularly. Seeing so much fighting and upset in them in general, I can’t deal with it. But that’s just me. Also the rates of cheating. It’s been going on since the beginning of time. If we think we’re a monogamous species, do some reading, we’re not on that list. At best we’re serial monogamists. Going from to another, sometimes at the same time. It’s a biological fact. To put it bluntly, we’re programmed to eat, sleep and fuck. Reproduction keep the race from fading out into extinction. So should we be surprised when we get stuck with a cheater or become one? No. Now I’m not saying everyone should go solo or validating cheating, but knowing what might happen and to keep an eye open is always smart. Also in many relationships I’ve seen one partner or both trying to change something in the other, hence the higher possibility of cheating and/or distress. To form a good relationship, to stay in one, if someone wants you to change, doesn’t love you for exactly who you are, pack your bags and wait for the one that appreciates you for who you are. Now if you’re harming yourself and the change is for the best, that’s different, that’s love. A human emotion attached to relationships. If you find yourself wanting to change the other person for superficial reasons, pack it up and look for the right one. People picking at us drags us down, makes us feel not good enough and that’s straight up bullshit. Like I said if it’s not something that’s harmful to yourself, fuck them and stick to your guns, be you, love yourself. And before you enter into a relationship make sure you love yourself to the fullest, it’s the only way to have a truly successful one; and to find a partner who is the same way. Not an over ego, don’t get to the two confused. Self love, happy with yourself. That’s the key. With or without or a partner. With the internet and social life now a days, people jump in quick and wear many masks. Do some digging first, see who they really are and if it fits, go with it. No one can hurt you if you love yourself. Sure hurt can can happen, but it won’t take you down. Again, like Part One, love yourself and anyone who doesn't feel the same, throw that middle finger in the air and walk.
4. The other one that seems prevalent these days and has been is the heavy influence on Weight and Looks. Especially the new big ass craze. There’s always something. Hell, I have plastic surgery, implants. But I did that for myself. Something I had always wanted. Call me hypocrite if you want, but read on. I was single when I did it, saved up for it and paid for it myself. It was just something I wanted. I like big boobs, why not get a pair? And if you want something do it, but make sure you’re doing it for you. It’s just like getting tattooed or buying a new outfit, you get it because you want it. If someone suggests it, a partner, etc. - don’t do it. Again, self love. Anyone that suggests you alter your body and isn’t happy with the way you are, fuck them. Move on. Weight is another issue. I’ve had people tell me my whole life I’m too skinny, that my ass was too small. But fuck it, do you think I’m going to grow my ass, inject shit into it and try to fight my genetics and metabolism to satisfy someone else? Fuck no. If the issue is what society says is “overweight”, ignore it. Again if it’s affecting your health, there’s healthy ways to make your body stronger and healthier without becoming an anorexic stick figure. But if someone thinks you should drop it to appease their personal taste, put that damn finger up again. Look back in history, the old pinups, curvy is good. It was natural for the most part. No matter how you look, if you’re happy with it, stick with it. If you want to alter yourself for yourself, (insecurity not involved), go for it. Go by your happiness. Love yourself for the canvas you’ve created, because it’s what you want. Not what society or other people say to do. Independence and self love are the key to a happy life. And if you can find someone who feels the same way, count your lucky stars, you found the real deal. We’re not all damned. It’s all patience, time put in. Loving ourselves truly and achieving solid independent thought takes time, determining our own goals. In the end there is a great peace that comes with it. Just keep it at that and don’t let the ego go overboard, that’s a ride you don’t want to take and will only lead to negative relationships and lives. Keep it simple.
Again, think for yourself, don’t get bullied into change or your thinking. Love yourself for who you truly are.
No one’s input matters but your own, accept again, if you’re doing something to harm yourself. Then those aren’t the bad guys, those are the good ones. Take your time, be smart and find peace within yourself. Going by personal experience, using these methods has only improved my life for the better. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else, I’m just happy with myself and my life. And that’s good enough for me.
You’re beautiful, intelligent and strong. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And when it comes to cheating, remember, it’s not you, it’s a hole in their own soul. Forgive them, feel sympathy for their void and be happy that it’s not you. You’re solid.
Blessed Be
For further reading:
Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
There's No Good Campfires Left In Hell on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00H7CZ590
For Paperback at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kate-monahan/theres-no-good-campfires-left-in-hell/paperback/product-21276242.html