The Long Irish Walk.
Why does anyone do it?
People disappear from bars after they’ve had to much to drink, run out of strip clubs after they’ve dropped ten grand and realize they’ve spent too much and walk out on families after deciding they’ve made a deal they can’t keep anymore.
The famous, “I’m going out for a pack of smokes and I’ll be right back,” never to be seen again.
My great Uncle Frank did this. Off the boat from Ireland and speaking with a
brogue you couldn’t cut with a knife. Nobody knew much about Uncle Frank except that he didn’t really give a shit about much. He taught my grandfather how to properly and discretely urinate in public and was a Detroit cop.
One New Year’s Eve, Uncle Frank had enough and announced he was going out for a pack of smokes, and never returned. Many years later a family member tracked him down in New York City.
My Aunt wanted to rescue him. “Poor Uncle Frank, alone in that city,” she argued, “we should go get him, bring him home to be with the family.”
My Uncle pointed out that obviously Uncle Frank had no interest in family time, if he did he wouldn’t have taken the Long Irish Walk.
So Frank was left up to his own devices; exactly what he wanted.
Now is Uncle Frank the “Bad Guy”?
Absolutely not. He entered into an agreement, one that everyone was doing at the time. Marry young, pop out kids, go to work.
Choices, doing what you want, and going rouge weren’t en vogue at the time, so Uncle Frank had little options.
Look at the divorce rate among the baby-boomers. Born at time when this shit was expected, then to grow older in a time when things changed. The family dynamic changed and the solid family unit wasn’t required. People got out. Fled the unit they created. They went out for themselves.
Now, I’m not saying it doesn’t suck for the wife and kids. Sure it does. My generation is a generation of broken homes and fucked up kids. But, is this the person’s fault or society’s? I blame society. The conformity phenomenon. The sheep that run blindly over the cliff. Follow, follow, follow. It’s the norm, everybody’s doing it, so it must be right.
But what is dubbed as “right” because everybody is doing it, usually isn’t.
In this sense, relationships aren’t sought out for true love. You don’t hold out. You look for good enough, convenience and what looks good to the outside world. Then later... later the stirring starts. The gypsy cries to get out. She yearns for travel, a new life and maybe has found that one true partner. Maybe the person has truly fallen in love. They don’t want good enough. They’re torn. Fight for the current or flight to the new and more appealing, desirable future is the debate.
So am I advocating for flight? Not necessarily. I’m advocating Waiting.
Wait, wait, fucking WAIT.
Don’t do what is “right” in the eyes of society, do what feels right to you.
I ran out on five weddings, seven engagements total. Every time saying yes, playing chicken with myself. Could I do it this time? Blend in, shut the fuck up and settle down?
Basically in leaving two men at the alter I learned that following the sheep wasn’t for me. That holding out, staying in, not dating because I should to avoid being a spinster, but to just be alone and see what happens was the right choice.
In doing so, I found what it really is to love, and to want to bind myself to another person.
I saved myself the legal trouble, the messy bank account divide and joint custody.
Now - had I not felt the pressure of doing the “right” thing, I never would have said yes to any of them. I never would have dated any of those people.
The feeling of wanting to belong and do what’s “right” is a heavy burden. But once you kick it, drop it off your back, the freedom you receive is a feeling that tops the feeling of conformity ten fold.
So, give it a try. Just like drinking too much or blowing too much on strippers, get out before regret sets in, or just don’t go at it at all.
Calm down, sit tight and enjoy the ride and wait for what’s right to come to you.
No need to make yourself sick or fill your mind with regret.
No need to take a walk if you’ve never entered the room.
Check out my blog http://katemonahan.org/
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme and http://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan
Why does anyone do it?
People disappear from bars after they’ve had to much to drink, run out of strip clubs after they’ve dropped ten grand and realize they’ve spent too much and walk out on families after deciding they’ve made a deal they can’t keep anymore.
The famous, “I’m going out for a pack of smokes and I’ll be right back,” never to be seen again.
My great Uncle Frank did this. Off the boat from Ireland and speaking with a
brogue you couldn’t cut with a knife. Nobody knew much about Uncle Frank except that he didn’t really give a shit about much. He taught my grandfather how to properly and discretely urinate in public and was a Detroit cop.
One New Year’s Eve, Uncle Frank had enough and announced he was going out for a pack of smokes, and never returned. Many years later a family member tracked him down in New York City.
My Aunt wanted to rescue him. “Poor Uncle Frank, alone in that city,” she argued, “we should go get him, bring him home to be with the family.”
My Uncle pointed out that obviously Uncle Frank had no interest in family time, if he did he wouldn’t have taken the Long Irish Walk.
So Frank was left up to his own devices; exactly what he wanted.
Now is Uncle Frank the “Bad Guy”?
Absolutely not. He entered into an agreement, one that everyone was doing at the time. Marry young, pop out kids, go to work.
Choices, doing what you want, and going rouge weren’t en vogue at the time, so Uncle Frank had little options.
Look at the divorce rate among the baby-boomers. Born at time when this shit was expected, then to grow older in a time when things changed. The family dynamic changed and the solid family unit wasn’t required. People got out. Fled the unit they created. They went out for themselves.
Now, I’m not saying it doesn’t suck for the wife and kids. Sure it does. My generation is a generation of broken homes and fucked up kids. But, is this the person’s fault or society’s? I blame society. The conformity phenomenon. The sheep that run blindly over the cliff. Follow, follow, follow. It’s the norm, everybody’s doing it, so it must be right.
But what is dubbed as “right” because everybody is doing it, usually isn’t.
In this sense, relationships aren’t sought out for true love. You don’t hold out. You look for good enough, convenience and what looks good to the outside world. Then later... later the stirring starts. The gypsy cries to get out. She yearns for travel, a new life and maybe has found that one true partner. Maybe the person has truly fallen in love. They don’t want good enough. They’re torn. Fight for the current or flight to the new and more appealing, desirable future is the debate.
So am I advocating for flight? Not necessarily. I’m advocating Waiting.
Wait, wait, fucking WAIT.
Don’t do what is “right” in the eyes of society, do what feels right to you.
I ran out on five weddings, seven engagements total. Every time saying yes, playing chicken with myself. Could I do it this time? Blend in, shut the fuck up and settle down?
Basically in leaving two men at the alter I learned that following the sheep wasn’t for me. That holding out, staying in, not dating because I should to avoid being a spinster, but to just be alone and see what happens was the right choice.
In doing so, I found what it really is to love, and to want to bind myself to another person.
I saved myself the legal trouble, the messy bank account divide and joint custody.
Now - had I not felt the pressure of doing the “right” thing, I never would have said yes to any of them. I never would have dated any of those people.
The feeling of wanting to belong and do what’s “right” is a heavy burden. But once you kick it, drop it off your back, the freedom you receive is a feeling that tops the feeling of conformity ten fold.
So, give it a try. Just like drinking too much or blowing too much on strippers, get out before regret sets in, or just don’t go at it at all.
Calm down, sit tight and enjoy the ride and wait for what’s right to come to you.
No need to make yourself sick or fill your mind with regret.
No need to take a walk if you’ve never entered the room.
Buy Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon today! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
Buy the paperback version of There's No Good Campfires Left I Hell at
Check out my blog http://katemonahan.org/
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme and http://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan