I got told recently that I shouldn't be alone and needed a man. That this person wanted to help me. Take me to dinner and a movie. Help me get out of my shell.
Who was this? My regular mother fucking driver that I've had since March. Now while he drives me often I don't talk much. I look and act like a quiet, unpleasant person, and when I do talk, I have the mouth of a sailor. Nothing new.
Now what did I say to get this helpful invite? He dropped me at the ballet in June and asked why I was going alone. I told him my ex was a sack of shit, married and with a kid. That I didn't need a fucking date. I'd rather be alone.
I guess he never forgot that. And this useless piece of human meat, who’s married and has kids has the gaul to text me later that night after he dropped me off that I shouldn't be alone. Fucking bullshit came out of nowhere. That he cared about me and wanted to take me out. This stupid bastard wasn't taking no for an answer. Heh, until I asked him if he wanted to keep his mother fucking job.
Poke the fucking snake and you get bit.
Now - the married asshole driver brought up bad memories of my ex. But that wasn't really my god damn problem.
My problem was the barrage of messages I kept ignoring that a woman can't and shouldn't be alone. Oh, and you're the one for the job, fucko? Kiss my cracker ass. Take you’re fucking family out. One more reason I don’t like the concept of marriage, time after time I see how people legally bound to each other fuck each other over.
I've been on my god damn own since I was seventeen. I’ve worked for everything I have, fucked myself over and picked myself up by my fucking self. No fucking man.
I need is myself. My dog keeps me company. I have a few fantastic friends I love and am more than grateful for. Besides just myself, that is all I need
I'm a strong, independent female. I wear a band on my left ring finger. Originally to keep dudes from fucking with me. But as I got stronger, my training and studies amped up, I flipped that script. I'm married to myself, my future, helping those who've been fucked over. Helping the innocents get back on their feet and putting away the ones that did the damage.
And I'll do it my mother fucking self.
I believe in myself, love myself and take care of myself. I don't need a companion to do any of that.
Independence is key. And where true success and happiness comes from.
At least in my humble fucking opinion.
Companions can bring comfort, that on my bad days I lack, but I’d much rather be myself and by myself then in a relationship which is a full time job.
Don’t let anyone tell you that your choice in life is the wrong one on how you decide to live, unless it’s harming yourself of course. But as far as needing someone, that’s individual and up to you. No one fucking elses. And I choose Alone.
Blessed Be
Afterthought
As one can see through my writing, my first reaction was anger. At being told what to do and my old memories being resurfaced by some slime ball who wanted the same thing as my ex, a side project. But, while I’m still dealing with those reoccurring memories of when my life went to hell weeks after moving to a new city and realizing my dreams were just that, imaginary and lies, I’ve buried the hatchet with my ex. Moved on. But even when moving on, memories can still come back to haunt us, it’s just a matter of not letting them slow us down or stop us. Process them, then let them go.
What I’ve learned through my time being clean is that revenge isn’t the answer, neither is holding onto anger, but letting it fuel you to go harder, faster, and stronger.
In life people will come into it and try to fuck it up or hide bad intentions behind good ones. The best is to learn how to spot them immediately. Granted some will just come out blatantly like in my recent situation.
Also I give people a three strike rule before I tear into them. I don’t like the snake coming out. First I dodge the conversation and try to steer it in another direction, then ignore it if it continues, after that I say I’m not interested in the conversation. Any more words and I unleash. Unfortunately with most people, this is how it has to go. Nice doesn’t always work, neither does ignoring or just saying I’m not interested, leave me alone. Basically my word of advice on handling it on a personal end, try the above first and if you have to get nasty, it’s a last resort but needed. People can be thick in the head, and well, what else can you do but use the verbal bat?
Also, for those reading this, bringing up someone’s past that they have worked through it is never a good idea, it just brings it all back. While it may be a kind or malicious gesture it can only cause pain. Our thoughts and feelings return, no matter how much time has past. So best to leave it alone after they’ve processed to not stir up emotions unless asked. Talking when they’re going through it is one thing, but months later doesn’t help.
Just a word of advice and another few of my “humble” opinions.
For further reading:
Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
There's No Good Campfires Left In Hell on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00H7CZ590
Who was this? My regular mother fucking driver that I've had since March. Now while he drives me often I don't talk much. I look and act like a quiet, unpleasant person, and when I do talk, I have the mouth of a sailor. Nothing new.
Now what did I say to get this helpful invite? He dropped me at the ballet in June and asked why I was going alone. I told him my ex was a sack of shit, married and with a kid. That I didn't need a fucking date. I'd rather be alone.
I guess he never forgot that. And this useless piece of human meat, who’s married and has kids has the gaul to text me later that night after he dropped me off that I shouldn't be alone. Fucking bullshit came out of nowhere. That he cared about me and wanted to take me out. This stupid bastard wasn't taking no for an answer. Heh, until I asked him if he wanted to keep his mother fucking job.
Poke the fucking snake and you get bit.
Now - the married asshole driver brought up bad memories of my ex. But that wasn't really my god damn problem.
My problem was the barrage of messages I kept ignoring that a woman can't and shouldn't be alone. Oh, and you're the one for the job, fucko? Kiss my cracker ass. Take you’re fucking family out. One more reason I don’t like the concept of marriage, time after time I see how people legally bound to each other fuck each other over.
I've been on my god damn own since I was seventeen. I’ve worked for everything I have, fucked myself over and picked myself up by my fucking self. No fucking man.
I need is myself. My dog keeps me company. I have a few fantastic friends I love and am more than grateful for. Besides just myself, that is all I need
I'm a strong, independent female. I wear a band on my left ring finger. Originally to keep dudes from fucking with me. But as I got stronger, my training and studies amped up, I flipped that script. I'm married to myself, my future, helping those who've been fucked over. Helping the innocents get back on their feet and putting away the ones that did the damage.
And I'll do it my mother fucking self.
I believe in myself, love myself and take care of myself. I don't need a companion to do any of that.
Independence is key. And where true success and happiness comes from.
At least in my humble fucking opinion.
Companions can bring comfort, that on my bad days I lack, but I’d much rather be myself and by myself then in a relationship which is a full time job.
Don’t let anyone tell you that your choice in life is the wrong one on how you decide to live, unless it’s harming yourself of course. But as far as needing someone, that’s individual and up to you. No one fucking elses. And I choose Alone.
Blessed Be
Afterthought
As one can see through my writing, my first reaction was anger. At being told what to do and my old memories being resurfaced by some slime ball who wanted the same thing as my ex, a side project. But, while I’m still dealing with those reoccurring memories of when my life went to hell weeks after moving to a new city and realizing my dreams were just that, imaginary and lies, I’ve buried the hatchet with my ex. Moved on. But even when moving on, memories can still come back to haunt us, it’s just a matter of not letting them slow us down or stop us. Process them, then let them go.
What I’ve learned through my time being clean is that revenge isn’t the answer, neither is holding onto anger, but letting it fuel you to go harder, faster, and stronger.
In life people will come into it and try to fuck it up or hide bad intentions behind good ones. The best is to learn how to spot them immediately. Granted some will just come out blatantly like in my recent situation.
Also I give people a three strike rule before I tear into them. I don’t like the snake coming out. First I dodge the conversation and try to steer it in another direction, then ignore it if it continues, after that I say I’m not interested in the conversation. Any more words and I unleash. Unfortunately with most people, this is how it has to go. Nice doesn’t always work, neither does ignoring or just saying I’m not interested, leave me alone. Basically my word of advice on handling it on a personal end, try the above first and if you have to get nasty, it’s a last resort but needed. People can be thick in the head, and well, what else can you do but use the verbal bat?
Also, for those reading this, bringing up someone’s past that they have worked through it is never a good idea, it just brings it all back. While it may be a kind or malicious gesture it can only cause pain. Our thoughts and feelings return, no matter how much time has past. So best to leave it alone after they’ve processed to not stir up emotions unless asked. Talking when they’re going through it is one thing, but months later doesn’t help.
Just a word of advice and another few of my “humble” opinions.
For further reading:
Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
There's No Good Campfires Left In Hell on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00H7CZ590