New Year’s Eve. All over the Internet people are posting what the past year has brought them, taught them; how it’s been good or bad, etc.
For some reason, I always use today as more of launching point. Like, how do I go about my next year? What do I want? What don’t I want?
Usually all of those wants are connected to my previous year, but I like to go about the day with more of a forward approach. I’m not big on looking back, it’s just not how I’m wired.
But if we must look back there’s a few things I’ve learned that have had a fairly large impact on how I’ll be conducting myself this coming year.
As far as my work goes, I know to be more self-sufficient. Not fall into the publicist trap or hire someone to do shit for me. Most likely I can do it myself and do a better job.
Patience was the name of the game this year. Of which I have very little and never really have had any to begin with. Between botched surgeries, hurricanes and getting sicker than a dog, the last six months have proven to me that no matter how much I want to get up and go; sometimes life just doesn’t work that way. Sometimes it’s not my decision and I just have to be patient.
Now, in keeping people close to me, I narrowed my list of close friends down to even fewer. Removing the people that used me for my time, energy and their own toxic gains. I had to realize that no matter how much a person tells you how much they care, that may not always be the truth; and sometimes even the longest lasting friendships have to be put down like an old dog.
As far as relationships go… There’s a fun topic. I spent the first six months of the year avoiding any semblance of one. I don’t think I even went on a date until maybe June? I had just had it with people. Being anti-social and getting my first year of sobriety under my belt was more important, a larger focus; than getting laid and hanging with dudes.
Once I had “me” semi-grounded and secure I gave it a shot. And that’s when the shit storm of squares came out of the woodwork. I couldn’t tell you why or how it happened; it just did. To the point where I felt bad about MYSELF, because I wasn’t interested in ANY of them. Whether I was at readings, just out minding my own business or working, this is what I got. Lucky me, (eye roll).
I tried going out with a few of them, due to my feeling bad and never having done it before. Maybe they weren’t the Anti-Christ… What was the meat head from the Bronx like? What about the cooperate dude that wanted so badly to be rock and roll? The “safe” guy who owns his own business? Let me tell you, All bad. Bad, bad, bad. And all because I felt bad and discriminatory. And those were just the ones I said, “sure I’ll get coffee with you, sure I’ll meet you for dinner.”
My God. Terrible. And none of them knew what the fuck Straight Edge was, why it was a big deal or couldn’t I just have one beer? Did I mind if they smoked? Ugh!!
Now I went out with my kind of weirdos too. And met some great people and have some unwritten chapters to finish, so it wasn’t ll bad; but we’re talking about lessons here, right?
So there’s my lesson. That’s how I get into trouble. I beat myself up. I put up with people and try not to discriminate all the time against the “normals”and those different than me and I end up getting stuck in situations or interacting with people I can’t stand.
So this next year, I’m getting even pickier. I was before and now it’s just getting amped up.
I’m keeping my close friends close and am going to be extremely guarded on who I let in. Longer trial periods before I trust them. Not negative, just cautious.
As far as work goes, it’s all me from here on out except for my editor and few others I’ve worked hand in hand with this past year. The ones that I know aren’t going to fuck me.
Dating wise, if you’re not Straight Edge, sorry. I’m going to have to say go fuck yourself. Now we can be pals, I will respect you of course and not judge you, but I’m not dating you. I cannot and will not tolerate someone I’m dating using drugs, alcohol or smoking. No way. And the person has to be creative. No more feeling bad about not liking non-creative people. I’m not attracted to them, end of story. Granted this will be helping and hindering my love life, no immediate gratification, but also no unwanted contact. Which I didn’t have much of before, but no more sitting through dinners wanting to jam my fork in my eye because I’m so god damn bored. I know what I like and I’ll wait.
So basically this next year, I’m going to be more patient, selective and even more self-sufficient. I think those are all “OK” things to work towards…
Happy 2013 and remember, ringing in the New Year hung over is no way to start your year of new found resolutions…
Keep it Clean & Keep it Classy.
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan
For some reason, I always use today as more of launching point. Like, how do I go about my next year? What do I want? What don’t I want?
Usually all of those wants are connected to my previous year, but I like to go about the day with more of a forward approach. I’m not big on looking back, it’s just not how I’m wired.
But if we must look back there’s a few things I’ve learned that have had a fairly large impact on how I’ll be conducting myself this coming year.
As far as my work goes, I know to be more self-sufficient. Not fall into the publicist trap or hire someone to do shit for me. Most likely I can do it myself and do a better job.
Patience was the name of the game this year. Of which I have very little and never really have had any to begin with. Between botched surgeries, hurricanes and getting sicker than a dog, the last six months have proven to me that no matter how much I want to get up and go; sometimes life just doesn’t work that way. Sometimes it’s not my decision and I just have to be patient.
Now, in keeping people close to me, I narrowed my list of close friends down to even fewer. Removing the people that used me for my time, energy and their own toxic gains. I had to realize that no matter how much a person tells you how much they care, that may not always be the truth; and sometimes even the longest lasting friendships have to be put down like an old dog.
As far as relationships go… There’s a fun topic. I spent the first six months of the year avoiding any semblance of one. I don’t think I even went on a date until maybe June? I had just had it with people. Being anti-social and getting my first year of sobriety under my belt was more important, a larger focus; than getting laid and hanging with dudes.
Once I had “me” semi-grounded and secure I gave it a shot. And that’s when the shit storm of squares came out of the woodwork. I couldn’t tell you why or how it happened; it just did. To the point where I felt bad about MYSELF, because I wasn’t interested in ANY of them. Whether I was at readings, just out minding my own business or working, this is what I got. Lucky me, (eye roll).
I tried going out with a few of them, due to my feeling bad and never having done it before. Maybe they weren’t the Anti-Christ… What was the meat head from the Bronx like? What about the cooperate dude that wanted so badly to be rock and roll? The “safe” guy who owns his own business? Let me tell you, All bad. Bad, bad, bad. And all because I felt bad and discriminatory. And those were just the ones I said, “sure I’ll get coffee with you, sure I’ll meet you for dinner.”
My God. Terrible. And none of them knew what the fuck Straight Edge was, why it was a big deal or couldn’t I just have one beer? Did I mind if they smoked? Ugh!!
Now I went out with my kind of weirdos too. And met some great people and have some unwritten chapters to finish, so it wasn’t ll bad; but we’re talking about lessons here, right?
So there’s my lesson. That’s how I get into trouble. I beat myself up. I put up with people and try not to discriminate all the time against the “normals”and those different than me and I end up getting stuck in situations or interacting with people I can’t stand.
So this next year, I’m getting even pickier. I was before and now it’s just getting amped up.
I’m keeping my close friends close and am going to be extremely guarded on who I let in. Longer trial periods before I trust them. Not negative, just cautious.
As far as work goes, it’s all me from here on out except for my editor and few others I’ve worked hand in hand with this past year. The ones that I know aren’t going to fuck me.
Dating wise, if you’re not Straight Edge, sorry. I’m going to have to say go fuck yourself. Now we can be pals, I will respect you of course and not judge you, but I’m not dating you. I cannot and will not tolerate someone I’m dating using drugs, alcohol or smoking. No way. And the person has to be creative. No more feeling bad about not liking non-creative people. I’m not attracted to them, end of story. Granted this will be helping and hindering my love life, no immediate gratification, but also no unwanted contact. Which I didn’t have much of before, but no more sitting through dinners wanting to jam my fork in my eye because I’m so god damn bored. I know what I like and I’ll wait.
So basically this next year, I’m going to be more patient, selective and even more self-sufficient. I think those are all “OK” things to work towards…
Happy 2013 and remember, ringing in the New Year hung over is no way to start your year of new found resolutions…
Keep it Clean & Keep it Classy.
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan