There’s been a few things whirling around in my brain the last few weeks, things that I think are misunderstood or have too much emphasis put on them. They somewhat can relate to one another, but at the same time completely separate issues. Things I’ve seen and been more aware of as of late that don’t quite make sense to me, and also things that seem to cause people a great deal of upset for reasons not necessarily necessary.
1. Birthdays. Something people I’ve noticed get really wound up about. They plan parties and make a big deal of them, which if that brings pleasure, why not? But on the other hand, people put high expectations on them and become disappointed if they are not recognized properly.
I’ve never been one for celebrations or holidays, except for Halloween, that has been my favorite since I was a child. Now back to birthdays and why I brought it up. Mine is approaching rather quickly, the 4th of July, a national holiday. I’ve gotten several messages and inquiries as to what I’ll be doing, and it’s odd, it seems like people really don’t know me because I usually keep things low key and don’t like a public fuss made about me. Also having recently moved and being busy, and an introvert, it’s not like I’ve been out making friends. Now it is easy to become wrapped up in the poor me I’ll be all alone scenario, due to all of the social pressure and what not, and hype on them since the beginning of time. Usually I would just spend them low key with a few friends, grab a coffee and watch fireworks from afar to avoid crowds.
Now in our programming when one is alone in a new town, it would be easy to get caught up in the wallowing, so for me, I’m just going to work. I’m past 30 years old now coming up so I don’t see the need to get all jazzed up about it. As a child nothing much was ever done about them. What does become an annoyance is after people ask the question and I respond that I’m working is the, “I’m sorry, that has to be terrible,” etc. response. Even the woman at the bank when I was making a deposit asked the above and gave the above response. At this point I’d rather just ignore it all together and not get baited into the pity party. And I feel empathy for any other soul that has to go through the same thing. It’s just like when people tell you to smile when you have a straight face. I’ve been given hell for that my whole life. I just usually have a straight face. Which when explained then I’m usually asked whether or not I have anything to smile about. Then at that point I just get pissed. A great many people I know are plagued by the same problem. In sum, I don’t understand the birthday fuss, I think it should rather be a combination of Mother’s and Father’s day, (whether we like them or not), because without them, well, we wouldn’t be here. So this year with all the questions I’ve just become aggravated and looking forward to getting it over with and trying to give the nice response that I’m happy to be working. I like some of my co-workers so it shouldn’t be an issue and just like a normal day. As long as one is happy with themselves it shouldn’t matter, it’s just a day. It’s just a number, and if you’re one of those that doesn’t have any plans or anyone to celebrate with, don’t feel bad. It’s just a reminder that you’ve made it another year and there is more to come. Think of all the positive things that lay in the year ahead. Kick the social programming and just be happy you’re not six feet under. You don’t need anyone to make yourself happy, just yourself.
2. And while we’re on the topic of ill feelings, we might as well discuss Anger. I’ve written on this before. Since my recent book release and friends in the know of my move out here and hellish fallout, I’ve been asked if I’m still angry. Accused of it being instilled in me. Well, I guess the answer to the question, to be truthful is yes, there is still anger there. But - this is important. Anger can take forms in a multitude of ways and really, it’s just a matter of what we do with it. We can go down the wrong path, sit and stew in in, let ourselves be eaten away by it, or go all out Brittany Spears on it, shave our heads and smash car windows… these are not good things.
I read an article in Psychology Today a few months back on anger and how it can actually be used as a positive driving force. Steve Jobs was one of the examples. I’m sure you can find the piece online, as everything is online now. Anger channeled in the correct way can motivate us, fuel us and drive us into our passions, what we want to to. To become successful while walking out of the ashes. The old forgive but don’t forget thing. It can make us stronger, work harder. That’s what I do with mine. I have forgiven but haven’t forgotten. It’s allowed me to drench myself in my studies and devote myself to my training. Throw those harder punches, read that extra chapter and focus on my drive. Success is the best revenge, but revenge isn’t really a good thing because it still involves the other person. If one focuses the feeling of anger into bettering themselves for themselves a great deal of good can come out of it. And to be honest, I’m pretty grateful for it, without it, I wouldn’t have the focus and tenacity at achieving my goals as I do.
Also, hell, it gave me insight into the people I’ll be working with in the future. So when I need that extra push, I think back and get to going. If it crops up I put it to good use. I study or I train extra. So, just like with birthdays, it’s just a matter of redirecting our instinctual programming of wallowing and stewing and to just override it. “Success is the greatest happiness,” is how that statement referred to previously should be rewritten and used. Nothing beats seeing your work in action and there’s nothing wrong with using that anger to drive it into the positive. It’s just all a matter of understanding and choosing the right path and correct way to use it. Life throws us curve balls and those curve balls are what make us the better person. As long as we learn from them, look back and be thankful we got that curve ball, because otherwise, we might not have achieved the success we have.
This has gotten long, and the two above correlate, so let me end here and label this as Part One. The other two do not, so we’ll save them for the next one. Plus, it’s hard to digest too many topics at once. Nothing can be taken and processed properly through overload. And I guess all the topics discussed and to be discussed have all been posed to me. All in which my response has been given a funny look or odd answer. But, sometimes when we think beyond the box and push our instinctual programming to the side, we can see things for the better and make use of them rather than feeling bad about them.
Until next time…
Blessed Be.
For further reading:
Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
There's No Good Campfires Left In Hell on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00H7CZ590
For Paperback at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kate-monahan/theres-no-good-campfires-left-in-hell/paperback/product-21276242.html
1. Birthdays. Something people I’ve noticed get really wound up about. They plan parties and make a big deal of them, which if that brings pleasure, why not? But on the other hand, people put high expectations on them and become disappointed if they are not recognized properly.
I’ve never been one for celebrations or holidays, except for Halloween, that has been my favorite since I was a child. Now back to birthdays and why I brought it up. Mine is approaching rather quickly, the 4th of July, a national holiday. I’ve gotten several messages and inquiries as to what I’ll be doing, and it’s odd, it seems like people really don’t know me because I usually keep things low key and don’t like a public fuss made about me. Also having recently moved and being busy, and an introvert, it’s not like I’ve been out making friends. Now it is easy to become wrapped up in the poor me I’ll be all alone scenario, due to all of the social pressure and what not, and hype on them since the beginning of time. Usually I would just spend them low key with a few friends, grab a coffee and watch fireworks from afar to avoid crowds.
Now in our programming when one is alone in a new town, it would be easy to get caught up in the wallowing, so for me, I’m just going to work. I’m past 30 years old now coming up so I don’t see the need to get all jazzed up about it. As a child nothing much was ever done about them. What does become an annoyance is after people ask the question and I respond that I’m working is the, “I’m sorry, that has to be terrible,” etc. response. Even the woman at the bank when I was making a deposit asked the above and gave the above response. At this point I’d rather just ignore it all together and not get baited into the pity party. And I feel empathy for any other soul that has to go through the same thing. It’s just like when people tell you to smile when you have a straight face. I’ve been given hell for that my whole life. I just usually have a straight face. Which when explained then I’m usually asked whether or not I have anything to smile about. Then at that point I just get pissed. A great many people I know are plagued by the same problem. In sum, I don’t understand the birthday fuss, I think it should rather be a combination of Mother’s and Father’s day, (whether we like them or not), because without them, well, we wouldn’t be here. So this year with all the questions I’ve just become aggravated and looking forward to getting it over with and trying to give the nice response that I’m happy to be working. I like some of my co-workers so it shouldn’t be an issue and just like a normal day. As long as one is happy with themselves it shouldn’t matter, it’s just a day. It’s just a number, and if you’re one of those that doesn’t have any plans or anyone to celebrate with, don’t feel bad. It’s just a reminder that you’ve made it another year and there is more to come. Think of all the positive things that lay in the year ahead. Kick the social programming and just be happy you’re not six feet under. You don’t need anyone to make yourself happy, just yourself.
2. And while we’re on the topic of ill feelings, we might as well discuss Anger. I’ve written on this before. Since my recent book release and friends in the know of my move out here and hellish fallout, I’ve been asked if I’m still angry. Accused of it being instilled in me. Well, I guess the answer to the question, to be truthful is yes, there is still anger there. But - this is important. Anger can take forms in a multitude of ways and really, it’s just a matter of what we do with it. We can go down the wrong path, sit and stew in in, let ourselves be eaten away by it, or go all out Brittany Spears on it, shave our heads and smash car windows… these are not good things.
I read an article in Psychology Today a few months back on anger and how it can actually be used as a positive driving force. Steve Jobs was one of the examples. I’m sure you can find the piece online, as everything is online now. Anger channeled in the correct way can motivate us, fuel us and drive us into our passions, what we want to to. To become successful while walking out of the ashes. The old forgive but don’t forget thing. It can make us stronger, work harder. That’s what I do with mine. I have forgiven but haven’t forgotten. It’s allowed me to drench myself in my studies and devote myself to my training. Throw those harder punches, read that extra chapter and focus on my drive. Success is the best revenge, but revenge isn’t really a good thing because it still involves the other person. If one focuses the feeling of anger into bettering themselves for themselves a great deal of good can come out of it. And to be honest, I’m pretty grateful for it, without it, I wouldn’t have the focus and tenacity at achieving my goals as I do.
Also, hell, it gave me insight into the people I’ll be working with in the future. So when I need that extra push, I think back and get to going. If it crops up I put it to good use. I study or I train extra. So, just like with birthdays, it’s just a matter of redirecting our instinctual programming of wallowing and stewing and to just override it. “Success is the greatest happiness,” is how that statement referred to previously should be rewritten and used. Nothing beats seeing your work in action and there’s nothing wrong with using that anger to drive it into the positive. It’s just all a matter of understanding and choosing the right path and correct way to use it. Life throws us curve balls and those curve balls are what make us the better person. As long as we learn from them, look back and be thankful we got that curve ball, because otherwise, we might not have achieved the success we have.
This has gotten long, and the two above correlate, so let me end here and label this as Part One. The other two do not, so we’ll save them for the next one. Plus, it’s hard to digest too many topics at once. Nothing can be taken and processed properly through overload. And I guess all the topics discussed and to be discussed have all been posed to me. All in which my response has been given a funny look or odd answer. But, sometimes when we think beyond the box and push our instinctual programming to the side, we can see things for the better and make use of them rather than feeling bad about them.
Until next time…
Blessed Be.
For further reading:
Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
There's No Good Campfires Left In Hell on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00H7CZ590
For Paperback at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kate-monahan/theres-no-good-campfires-left-in-hell/paperback/product-21276242.html