Self-loathing. What an ugly thing. Really fucks with one’s head.
I’ve dealt with it most of my life, as far back as I can remember. Feeling I was inherently evil. No good. The bad guy.
Where did it come from? Lots of reasons. Plenty of shit one can dig up through a little introspection and some sane rational thinking.
But that’s not the point. The point is, what does one do about it?
Because self-loathing leads down many dark roads; all with fanged rabbit holes at the end.
You have to just power through it. It’s like the poison apple, no matter how good it looks, you can’t give in and bite it.
Writing ourselves off as the asshole is easy and feeling miserable so intensely feels good sometimes, simply because of it’s intensity.
We sit, we cry, we don’t leave the corner we’ve been sitting in for an hour.
It’s best to just not sit down. To not let yourself go there. Which is hard!
When I’m feeling like the worst thing since Hitler, the last thing I want to do is go out and get over myself.
It’s easier to hate myself than love myself. I despise looking for my good points, I feel like a moron doing so. Like I’m lying.
Low self-esteem, self-doubt; probably. I guess I’ll always be humble to say the least.
But anyways, back to not giving into heavy self-loathing.
The best thing to do is to ignore it. Just the way you would ignore the annoying person in line at the bank or a coworker that won’t shut up about their stupid-ass vacation to Cape Cod.
Tell yourself it’s a bunch of a bullshit and refuse to listen to it. Throw some loud ass music on, busy yourself with a project or go out with friends. Pretty soon you’ll forget about feeling like an asshole and go back to feeling as normal as you usually do.
That’s what works for me anyway.
Buy Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon today! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan
I’ve dealt with it most of my life, as far back as I can remember. Feeling I was inherently evil. No good. The bad guy.
Where did it come from? Lots of reasons. Plenty of shit one can dig up through a little introspection and some sane rational thinking.
But that’s not the point. The point is, what does one do about it?
Because self-loathing leads down many dark roads; all with fanged rabbit holes at the end.
You have to just power through it. It’s like the poison apple, no matter how good it looks, you can’t give in and bite it.
Writing ourselves off as the asshole is easy and feeling miserable so intensely feels good sometimes, simply because of it’s intensity.
We sit, we cry, we don’t leave the corner we’ve been sitting in for an hour.
It’s best to just not sit down. To not let yourself go there. Which is hard!
When I’m feeling like the worst thing since Hitler, the last thing I want to do is go out and get over myself.
It’s easier to hate myself than love myself. I despise looking for my good points, I feel like a moron doing so. Like I’m lying.
Low self-esteem, self-doubt; probably. I guess I’ll always be humble to say the least.
But anyways, back to not giving into heavy self-loathing.
The best thing to do is to ignore it. Just the way you would ignore the annoying person in line at the bank or a coworker that won’t shut up about their stupid-ass vacation to Cape Cod.
Tell yourself it’s a bunch of a bullshit and refuse to listen to it. Throw some loud ass music on, busy yourself with a project or go out with friends. Pretty soon you’ll forget about feeling like an asshole and go back to feeling as normal as you usually do.
That’s what works for me anyway.
Buy Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon today! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan