The Christmas Sweater is back. It’s ugly and usually covered in bows and lights. These things start hitting the streets on the backs of older women as soon as Thanksgiving rears it’s ugly head.
The women wearing them don’t understand we think they’re awful, nor do they know we throw “bad sweater” parties around the holidays to be funny. They just think they’re cute.
These women don’t know dick about how stupid they look because they don’t care. They want to bake cookies, write out Christmas cards and are operating on a whole other stratosphere. Our world’s don’t cross unless something shoves them together.
Like a cough.
A loud, direct, wet, sick cough.
Right on my fucking arm. Right the fuck on me.
I finally get out of the house last week after being sick as a dog and while I’m shopping some bitch in one of these sweaters coughs, open mouthed, right on me.
So I turn, look at the bitch as she tries to just keep walking and yell, “did you just fucking cough on me?”
Not the classiest thing, but people being irresponsible assholes is what got me sick in the first place. Maybe this way they’ll learn.
Point of the story - Cover Your Fucking Mouth When You Cough.
And cough into your elbow actually, so you’re not hacking germs onto your hand then spreading them everywhere.
So that’s when the Christmas Sweater meets the Tattooed Freak. An unlikely combination unless one does something really rude and stupid.
And it wasn’t the freak.
Sweater had it comin’.
Happy Holidays & Please cough responsibly!
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan
The women wearing them don’t understand we think they’re awful, nor do they know we throw “bad sweater” parties around the holidays to be funny. They just think they’re cute.
These women don’t know dick about how stupid they look because they don’t care. They want to bake cookies, write out Christmas cards and are operating on a whole other stratosphere. Our world’s don’t cross unless something shoves them together.
Like a cough.
A loud, direct, wet, sick cough.
Right on my fucking arm. Right the fuck on me.
I finally get out of the house last week after being sick as a dog and while I’m shopping some bitch in one of these sweaters coughs, open mouthed, right on me.
So I turn, look at the bitch as she tries to just keep walking and yell, “did you just fucking cough on me?”
Not the classiest thing, but people being irresponsible assholes is what got me sick in the first place. Maybe this way they’ll learn.
Point of the story - Cover Your Fucking Mouth When You Cough.
And cough into your elbow actually, so you’re not hacking germs onto your hand then spreading them everywhere.
So that’s when the Christmas Sweater meets the Tattooed Freak. An unlikely combination unless one does something really rude and stupid.
And it wasn’t the freak.
Sweater had it comin’.
Happy Holidays & Please cough responsibly!
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan