Most of the writing I’ve done previously regarding the matter is how we need to fight for it to better improve the world we live in. That is not what this piece is about, but rather how we deal with it in our everyday lives.
Change is not something we as humans easily adapt to. Ask any scientist or shrink and they’ll tell you that. We’re creatures of habit and routine and we think. Ask any human if they like change in their life, things to just flip on a dime with no warning and their answer will most likely be no. And I mean the uncomfortable type of change. Like how we’re living now, the land of unpredictability. Politics, fucked. A pandemic where we don’t know when it will end and almost everything we’re used to has changed and we don’t know if it will ever go back to the way it used to be. Ask anyone if they like this, if they say they’re ok with it, they’re most likely full of shit. It’s not an enjoyable process to say the least but something we must deal with.
Sure it would be great to close our eyes and go la-la-la everything is fine, but that can only go on for so long, because once you open your eyes it’s time to face the music. Our releases; for me it’s live entertainment and walking around wherever I am and exploring and traveling, that’s pretty much gone or restricted. Then there’s the masks. I think we’ve gotten used to them now and accepted that we’ll be wearing them for a while. So now we’re adjusting them into our daily fashion wardrobe and have them stockpiled everywhere so we’re not left going, “fuck”, if we get somewhere and realize we’ve forgotten it. In this type of climate it has brought about the phrase, “the new normal” – well I hate to break it you, but it maybe the new normal for now, but that could swiftly change. Because let’s face it, every day we wake up we don’t know what life may be like. Things may open, things may close. We’re in the middle of change. Lets call it limbo. Nobody likes that shit. The state of not knowing.
As humans we like to know what the fuck is going on and what to expect and think we can make that reality, that we’ll always know. Which isn’t logical, even in times before the pandemic; because shit will always change. Also in this state we glorify the past. How great it was and couldn’t we just go back there? I had a conversation recently that I remembered grumbling about how I couldn’t wait for 2019 to be over, it had been a shit year of god knows what and I couldn’t wait for 2020. Something new; better. Well I got the new part, but not the better, (not counting the positive changes this shit storm of a year has brought). Bottom line I couldn’t remember what was so bad about 2019 and I feel like a moron for bitching about it now.
But change, that’s inevitable. Even animals, (you can see this in domesticated ones even more so), don’t like it, but they adapt. And currently that’s what we’re doing but at a rapid pace, which makes it even more uncomfortable. We think we understand and have a grip on it, then hey, mother fucker, here’s curve ball. The extension of shutdowns keeps extending, we don’t know what the future will hold politically speaking and well, that potential outcome should Agent Orange get back in office is a nightmare and we don’t know when we’ll be able to talk to someone not 6 feet apart.
Now – back to, “the new normal” and how this thinking is dangerous. We’re not there yet, hell, there really isn’t ever a, “normal”, more of a consistency that fluctuates. We aren’t at the end of this yet, we have a ways to go and getting comfortable, (something I personally am not fond of), is dangerous. Because things can potentially get worse. This is like a mid-point. We don’t really know what the fuck is going on. We remember the past and how things used to be, we long for it’s return, but with all that has gone on, that past is, well, history. That will never return. We’re waiting to see what life will be like when the shit-storm of the pandemic and massive political upheaval settles. We’re waiting. And that’s uncomfortable too. We’d all like to go back to enjoying the things we used to. Sure we’re finding new ways and adapting, but one cannot settle in this adaptation. We can only adapt to the present moment. For the future is always uncertain. That fact is now on steroids. The future is something none of us could accurately paint a picture of because we just don’t know.
In the work I do I’ve seen how people handle this nation-wide. I communicate daily with people all over the country and I’ve watched essentially the 7 stages of grief cycle through fully probably 3-4 times. Now people have seemed to settle into this state we’re living in now, riding out this limbo and waiting for things to go back to normal. Really it’s more like waiting to see the outcome of when this horrible shit comes to an end and we can rebuild and move forward. This will take time and will require much patience.
But what can we gain from change? I’ve written about how it fucks us up mentally and physically and throws us for a loop of uncomfortability, so what do we do with it? And again, this is regarding the negative aspects, not the positives we’re working towards.
We try to ground in the present moment. It’s all we’ve got. It doesn’t mean cease planning on things we want to do or freezing current projects or not day dreaming of future ideas for our lives and future, but simply being ok and adapting to today. As far as the day in and day out, we deal with it. We put our mask on, find other outlets for those we don’t have anymore, (not ones that will destroy our bodies and minds), and sit back and ride it out. Anxiety and uncertainty will be there, one can acknowledge the anxiety and uncertainty for what it is and then for our own sanity, let the thoughts go. Hit your routine for the day, work on what you can and be ready for the next day, not with a gripped fist, but knowing it may be different, potentially worse or more uncomfortable, a dull roar of yesterday, or better and you’ll ride the wave regardless.
Some of you maybe giving the screen you’re reading this on the finger right now with the thought of, bitch, it’s not that easy. But did I ever say it was? Change never is. All we can do right now is live in the present and ground the best we can.
Sure, I’m sick of the never-ending, what terrible shit is going to happen next thought; but change is something we learn to make friends with, or peace with over time. For me, I’m one of those assholes that doesn’t mind change itself. Do I like the limbo? Fuck no. Do I like horrible shit that’s happening right now? Fuck no. I’m a planner and a control freak. But, I also don’t like being comfortable completely either. Without change we don’t grow, we don’t learn and we don’t progress. And I am in no way saying that a massive pandemic taking lives in gargantuan numbers on a daily basis is good. I’m talking about not getting stuck in comfortability. For to adapt to change we must learn to live in it. For me growing up this was constant. I didn’t know what battle was around the corner and after time and experience I knew how to deal with things more and more that would throw me for a loop. If I feel myself getting too comfortable, which to me invokes boredom, I will change something in my life, usually a move, a massive stirring in my life, plan it out and then shake it up. I have a plan for the forced change, but for me to be creative and my brain to function at a higher capacity, for me, I need change. Now the random shit, I don’t like it. It sucks, but I do greatly appreciate what I got out of it when the dust settles. I won’t go into how I do this, christ, I’ve beaten that to death in previous writings.
As an occultist, studying for 20+ yeas now, with mystics, theosophists and my own studies, I can feel when change is in the air, become attuned to the energy around me and the feel collective conscious. I can feel when change is close to hitting, whether it be in my life or the overall state of being, and I wait. I breathe and oddly, I wait in a peaked curiosity. Even if the feeling is heavy and dark. Curiosity in the unknowing and the wait for it to hit and the calm before it does. For some things we cannot control. But when they come, we can work with them.
To be straightforward – we don’t learn shit from being happy and comfortable or in stagnation. Things just going along without a bump in the road. It’s those bumps, those massive shake-ups, the massive upheaval and what we’re dealing with now which most of us have never experienced in our lifetime are what we learn from and learn about ourselves.
There is no warm and fuzzy to it. BUT, nothing lasts forever. Good or bad. Usually the good things are spread out in snippets amongst the changes and things we deem bad. This allows us to appreciate the good times, the times of calm without getting stuck in the mundane. We don’t have to work ourselves up waiting for the shit to hit the fan, but we can know at some point it will and we’ll be as ready as we can for it. And what we aren’t prepared for, when it’s all over, we’ll have learned a great deal from that. When the state of the world calms down, people become healthy again there will be a relief but a massive adaptation to what the future will look like. And there’s no telling what that will be. So when it does end, when it does settle, enjoy those moments, because there is much more change to come in life coming to a more balanced and understandable, comprehendible state of being.
So it’s a matter of making peace with being uncomfortable in change. For me it’s knowing that nothing lasts forever. To deal with the irritation as it comes. To know I’ll have shitty days of being sick of it, but also knowing there is much newness on the horizon. I may not like it, but again, I will repeat the process. I know the calm and semi-stability will return, (because life is never stable, no matter how much we try to make it, which is not a bad thing, it’s a good thing, but we must acknowledge nothing is fool proof). To have the understanding that we know adaptation to change is a bitch, we aren’t even close to this coming full circle, but we can roll with it day to day and find the things in that day, in the present that make us happy. That is what gets us through.
We’re in the times of hang onto your ass. Not a new normal. We’re living in uncertainty and what the fuck. There’s no yippy skippy way to put it.
And as I’ve said, change for me, I’ve never bucked. I let it happen. I’m a what’s next kind of person. It’s not enjoyable in the process most times, even good ones, choices we’ve made, adventures, sure there’s a high, but also the low of figuring out our new life or going back to life as we knew it before the adventure. It is after that, that we can ask ourselves what kind of changes can we make to make life better, more enjoyable, more fulfilling?
And we can ask ourselves that now amongst the shit storm. Some things may take a while, fuck even years, but it doesn’t mean to flush them. My advice to you, get a notebook and a pen. Set it out and write down the things you think of that you’d like to do in the future, changes you can make then that you can’t now, things that you want to do now, but can’t. This helps us to not lose hope and something to look forward to. The more things you put in the notebook, the better the odds of them coming to fruition. Because we never know what the future holds but we don’t have to stop dreaming. Some of the things in the notebook might turn out, some might not and that’s okay. Because again, the more you put in there, the better your odds are and the possibilities become more and more endless. Know some may fail but others won’t. There will be defeat, that we learn and grow from, and also fruition, in which we continue to grow in and open new doors.
Right now all we can do is adapt day to day, do what we can to progressively make changes in the world and society and find calm in the chaos and unknowing. Meditation is one way to help the mind release tension but also teach us to ground, because even on shaky ground and it falling out from beneath us, we can learn to ground down on what we have and what is to come.
And talking. Don’t bottle. Share your notebook with friends, also fears and your progress in this day-to-day adaptation and settle in for the rest of the ride. We’re still on the rollercoaster and there isn’t a soul out there who can tell us when the ride will end and we’re back on solid ground, but what we can do is find calm in the change that is today and knowing we’ll figure it out as we go. Nothing is ever permanent.
Things come and things go. They change for better or worse, even the better being uncomfortable at first. We’ll probably never fully like change, or parts of it; but we can find growth within it and after this, we’ll be fucking masters at it. We won’t go up 1 level, hell, at this point, well be leveling up to pro-status. It’s like good ol’, Hunter S. Thompson said, “When The Going Get’s Weird, The Weird Turn Pro.” Time to level up. Soon enough we’ll be pros in dealing with the weird, change, uncomfortability and uncertainty. We’re getting there. Keep your head up.
Until next time…