A what? How does that make any sense? How can one be a victim of a “victim”?
victim |ˈviktəm|
a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.
• a person who is tricked or duped : the victim of a hoax.
• a living creature killed as a religious sacrifice.
-Webster’s Dictionary
What do we do for “victims”? We feel sorry for them. We protect them. We censor ourselves around them. We tread lightly like people do around the mentally insane or those injured in war.
Real victims, this is acceptable. But some people use this to their advantage. They are conditioned to it. Acting weak and fucked over allows them to get away with murder. Allowing them to gain control and get others to do things for them.
Taking unwarrented amounts of shit, going out of your way, cutting them slack for bad behavior, you name it.
Then, in turn; you become the victim of the victim.
You worry about hurting their feelings because they’ve been through so much or appear to not be able to properly defend themselves.
Rebel against them, not step in line and comply, revolt against their demands, upset the peace; and like an injured animal they’ll leap and go for your throat. Screaching and yipping. “Look who’s trying to hurt me!”
Not only are you bleeding from the neck, but you’re the bad guy, Bubba. All eyes are on you.
You hurt the innocent victim!
These faux-victims subconsciously (through conditioned behavior) or consciously, find stronger, bigger people to hang with. To help them, guard them, leach off them and aid in carrying their burden. They may even adapt to looking like the host. Stop for a second and question and you’re dead.
So really, these people are worse than the average bully who shoves you around for your lunch money. They look at you with big eyes and you just fork it over. And when you stop, off with your head and you’re the asshole. They’re not as keen as sociopaths, but just as dangerous.
They’re usually narcissists. My aunt was one of these. Always had people at her beckon call and she treated them all like garbage; but because she was a “victim” they all complied.
I’ve run accross this a few other times in my life. Some crippled by disease and some just man-made monsters.
So look for the signs:
Is their backbone missing?
Do you get a negative reaction if you step out of line and voice your opinion?
Are you always more conscious of doing things their way?
Do you find yourself mildly agitated and feel like you have to keep your mouth shut to avoid the throat rip situation described earlier?
If it’s yes to more than one, you’re falling victim to a victim.
These people are good at what they do and usually have years of practice, so there is really no quick detection. But once you see signs, test it with voicing your dislike for something. If an extreme reaction erupts instead of a calm, “oh, ok,” “no problem,” or “I’m sorry,” RUN.
If youre in a situation where immediate cut off isn’t an option, menatlly distance yourself and quit doing things for them immediately. No need to create a big scene. Once they’re not cared for, they’ll leave you alone.
Nobody needs that in their life. Just say no to becoming someone’s walking doormat.
Come on now, you’re better than that.
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan
victim |ˈviktəm|
a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.
• a person who is tricked or duped : the victim of a hoax.
• a living creature killed as a religious sacrifice.
-Webster’s Dictionary
What do we do for “victims”? We feel sorry for them. We protect them. We censor ourselves around them. We tread lightly like people do around the mentally insane or those injured in war.
Real victims, this is acceptable. But some people use this to their advantage. They are conditioned to it. Acting weak and fucked over allows them to get away with murder. Allowing them to gain control and get others to do things for them.
Taking unwarrented amounts of shit, going out of your way, cutting them slack for bad behavior, you name it.
Then, in turn; you become the victim of the victim.
You worry about hurting their feelings because they’ve been through so much or appear to not be able to properly defend themselves.
Rebel against them, not step in line and comply, revolt against their demands, upset the peace; and like an injured animal they’ll leap and go for your throat. Screaching and yipping. “Look who’s trying to hurt me!”
Not only are you bleeding from the neck, but you’re the bad guy, Bubba. All eyes are on you.
You hurt the innocent victim!
These faux-victims subconsciously (through conditioned behavior) or consciously, find stronger, bigger people to hang with. To help them, guard them, leach off them and aid in carrying their burden. They may even adapt to looking like the host. Stop for a second and question and you’re dead.
So really, these people are worse than the average bully who shoves you around for your lunch money. They look at you with big eyes and you just fork it over. And when you stop, off with your head and you’re the asshole. They’re not as keen as sociopaths, but just as dangerous.
They’re usually narcissists. My aunt was one of these. Always had people at her beckon call and she treated them all like garbage; but because she was a “victim” they all complied.
I’ve run accross this a few other times in my life. Some crippled by disease and some just man-made monsters.
So look for the signs:
Is their backbone missing?
Do you get a negative reaction if you step out of line and voice your opinion?
Are you always more conscious of doing things their way?
Do you find yourself mildly agitated and feel like you have to keep your mouth shut to avoid the throat rip situation described earlier?
If it’s yes to more than one, you’re falling victim to a victim.
These people are good at what they do and usually have years of practice, so there is really no quick detection. But once you see signs, test it with voicing your dislike for something. If an extreme reaction erupts instead of a calm, “oh, ok,” “no problem,” or “I’m sorry,” RUN.
If youre in a situation where immediate cut off isn’t an option, menatlly distance yourself and quit doing things for them immediately. No need to create a big scene. Once they’re not cared for, they’ll leave you alone.
Nobody needs that in their life. Just say no to becoming someone’s walking doormat.
Come on now, you’re better than that.
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan