Well apparently I’m extremely lazy today. Putting this off for hours.
Which, to be honest is because I’ve been lost in my own head. Sorting through files, shaking hands with a few new skeletons I hadn’t noticed before and putting the lids on a few unattended boxes.
I try to do an inventory of my mental circus every few months. To make sure I’m not neglecting anything and figuring out what the fuck is really going on up there.
While it starts out overwhelming and takes away from my sleep, it gets less tedious towards the end and my sleep returns. Usually in large doses.
I’m getting towards the end of it now. Going down my final checklist.
This time I fear I’m leaving more confused than when I entered. I’ve got a few bags full of shit to take with me and look over.
What the fuck do I want for myself? Why do I feel like painting again? That’s usually paired with depression and I’m not necessarily depressed. My social anxiety about having to attend a wellness seminar this weekend is brutal. The tenacity of my soul is pounding it in my head that I’m destined to be a healer, to help other people like myself. So the above mentioned shit-show is a must. My inner writer is annoyed for not getting enough face time and is demanding a vacation. The gypsy is kicking me in the gut, telling me to get up and go. Run, run, run. She doesn’t like confusion and her solution to everything is to pack up and leave. She’ll have to be dealt with. My inner-self is so fucking happy with my sobriety and I’m thankful as hell. There’s a few demons named insecurity and doubt that have to be sent away and a few goody-goody angels that need to be taken out as well. I don’t feel like conforming.
I’ve got a lot to do. A lot to write and a lot to process. I’m still on my warpath. There’s much road left to travel and it’s not a good day to die. So I’ll just get back to work.
Buy Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon today! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan
Which, to be honest is because I’ve been lost in my own head. Sorting through files, shaking hands with a few new skeletons I hadn’t noticed before and putting the lids on a few unattended boxes.
I try to do an inventory of my mental circus every few months. To make sure I’m not neglecting anything and figuring out what the fuck is really going on up there.
While it starts out overwhelming and takes away from my sleep, it gets less tedious towards the end and my sleep returns. Usually in large doses.
I’m getting towards the end of it now. Going down my final checklist.
This time I fear I’m leaving more confused than when I entered. I’ve got a few bags full of shit to take with me and look over.
What the fuck do I want for myself? Why do I feel like painting again? That’s usually paired with depression and I’m not necessarily depressed. My social anxiety about having to attend a wellness seminar this weekend is brutal. The tenacity of my soul is pounding it in my head that I’m destined to be a healer, to help other people like myself. So the above mentioned shit-show is a must. My inner writer is annoyed for not getting enough face time and is demanding a vacation. The gypsy is kicking me in the gut, telling me to get up and go. Run, run, run. She doesn’t like confusion and her solution to everything is to pack up and leave. She’ll have to be dealt with. My inner-self is so fucking happy with my sobriety and I’m thankful as hell. There’s a few demons named insecurity and doubt that have to be sent away and a few goody-goody angels that need to be taken out as well. I don’t feel like conforming.
I’ve got a lot to do. A lot to write and a lot to process. I’m still on my warpath. There’s much road left to travel and it’s not a good day to die. So I’ll just get back to work.
Buy Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon today! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan