Jury Duty, like taxes; you have to do it or else you go to jail. I’ve spent enough time behind bars to last me a lifetime, so I obliged.
Now, I also work nights. Unfortunately my ranting and raving on the inter-web doesn’t cover my cost of living in the city, so a chick’s gotta work. And 9am jury duty calls really fuck up my sleep schedule. As in I don’t get any.
Zip, zero, zilch.
And that makes me mad. And anxious. And bat-shit.
My brain is preconditioned to freak the fuck out when it comes to the judicial system, cops, judges and the inside of a courtroom.
The mental distress that accompanied this little shit show was major. The fallout of course was minor, but still, due to my nerves and stupid brain, I didn’t sleep good for a week.
One, because I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping for a few days and how would I make it through work? Two, I knew I’d be draining myself for nothing, I’d surely be kicked off. Three, I was paranoid if I did sleep the nights before that I wouldn’t wake up and it’s back to the poky for me.
Needless to say I made it there both days and got kicked off by the end of the second so I didn’t have to return the third.
I can’t remember the last time I was so livid. Two eight hour days surrounded by assholes. Then two eight hour evenings surrounded by assholes. Lucky lady.
First world problems, yes. I know there is much worse, but for some reason this shit just didn’t sit well.
Surrounded by authoritative figures and the general public, swine set me into a tizzy.
I looked like a deranged, sleep deprived, feral animal. Big hair, all black attire and a permanent snarl. I wanted to just put my scarf over my head, curl up in my chair in the corner of the room and just sleep the shit off. Same as jail.
I got lucky the first day. I only let one smart ass comment fly. Telling the clerk when I turned in my paperwork that I had misdemeanors and was I allowed to serve? The answer was yes, unless I had a felony. I commented that I wished I had one now. The clerk wasn’t amused and I sat back down. So much for comedy…
A few suits attempted to take a seat next to me and strike up a conversation. Apparently they didn’t notice that my eyes were closed. They were told, “I don’t think so,” when they started in; and I put my scarf completely over my head. Leave the freak in the corner alone! Will bite and spit!
I got through the first day unscathed. Same with the second. There was less than an hour to go and I was sure I was out of there scott free for the day, once again.
I was dreading coming back again; and hoping to just be let go completely.
But no. Some dip-shit judge decided that he needed a 12 person jury and every mother fucker in the place was to be interviewed. My answer upon role call was, “fuck me, yes.”
I wasn’t the only cursing sailor. Not many happy campers in that room. By the grace of the universe I was pulled up in the first group to be interviewed…
I was sweating and wasn’t exactly sure how to get out of this shit. Hopefully prejudice against the heavily inked would prevail. The one time ignorance would be to my benefit…
But this has gone on quite long enough for today; so tomorrow, the big time courtroom drama spectacular!
It really wasn’t that spectacular, but amusing none the less.
See you in the afternoon.
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