Letting go and moving on. Easy right? How many websites on the internet are there that give you a 5,7 or 10 step way to do it? Several.
Whether it’s an addiction, a breakup, a change of life style or a big move, these things all affect us.
I like to think of myself as a rock.
I process things, feelings and traumas as they come. Digging deep into my brain to try to sort it all out. And usually that comes with relief - but only temporarily.
Sometimes the feelings of change and loss return. In the forms of anger and loneliness, which can and usually does lead to depression - for me I just sleep.
In my transition, I have realized that I am a rock, but there are still cracks. Cracks in which once and a while splinter off and have to be looked at and properly sealed.
Being in a new town, (which I am absolutely in love with), is wonderful. But in the those nights off from work, ones spent alone, that loneliness creeps in and sometimes late at night, the anger.
I’m not much for making friends. I’m a person who enjoys my isolation, but I do miss my few back home.
In New York I had lonely moments, but could always call up a few of my dear friends and go for a walk through Central Park, hit the MET, get a tea or coffee or just see a movie. That has all but gone.
So in that sense of the change, I’m struggling.
I like my solitude and don’t care to make any new friends - simply out of the fact that I don’t trust people and finding sober friends is also difficult.
I guess this time is needed, this alone time to study and keep my eye on the prize which is my new job. I’ll cope with the loneliness and anger I harbor toward the one that brought me out here and turned out to be a liar. Right from the beginning. I trusted a person’s word at the very start of a year long relationship, only to find it phony. Eventually I will let that go.
There is no use for resentment or anger, just to let it go after processing it and be grateful that at least the lying snake brought me to a good place where I can pursue my happiness.
Keeping busy at nights helps. I went from thirty to sixty and bought some knitting supplies. Keep the hands busy and the mind quiet. Two and a half months later here I thought I’d be fine - I guess I overestimated myself. I figure by my birthday I should be fine and the negative feelings will lessen.
But we shall see. All I can do is take this new life as a learning process, a change for the better and fulfilling my new destiny. I think that’s all we can do. I guess I’ll have to learn patience after all…
For further reading:
Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
and
There's No Good Campfires Left In Hell on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00H7CZ590
Or Paperback at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kate-monahan/theres-no-good-campfires-left-in-hell/paperback/product-21276242.html
Whether it’s an addiction, a breakup, a change of life style or a big move, these things all affect us.
I like to think of myself as a rock.
I process things, feelings and traumas as they come. Digging deep into my brain to try to sort it all out. And usually that comes with relief - but only temporarily.
Sometimes the feelings of change and loss return. In the forms of anger and loneliness, which can and usually does lead to depression - for me I just sleep.
In my transition, I have realized that I am a rock, but there are still cracks. Cracks in which once and a while splinter off and have to be looked at and properly sealed.
Being in a new town, (which I am absolutely in love with), is wonderful. But in the those nights off from work, ones spent alone, that loneliness creeps in and sometimes late at night, the anger.
I’m not much for making friends. I’m a person who enjoys my isolation, but I do miss my few back home.
In New York I had lonely moments, but could always call up a few of my dear friends and go for a walk through Central Park, hit the MET, get a tea or coffee or just see a movie. That has all but gone.
So in that sense of the change, I’m struggling.
I like my solitude and don’t care to make any new friends - simply out of the fact that I don’t trust people and finding sober friends is also difficult.
I guess this time is needed, this alone time to study and keep my eye on the prize which is my new job. I’ll cope with the loneliness and anger I harbor toward the one that brought me out here and turned out to be a liar. Right from the beginning. I trusted a person’s word at the very start of a year long relationship, only to find it phony. Eventually I will let that go.
There is no use for resentment or anger, just to let it go after processing it and be grateful that at least the lying snake brought me to a good place where I can pursue my happiness.
Keeping busy at nights helps. I went from thirty to sixty and bought some knitting supplies. Keep the hands busy and the mind quiet. Two and a half months later here I thought I’d be fine - I guess I overestimated myself. I figure by my birthday I should be fine and the negative feelings will lessen.
But we shall see. All I can do is take this new life as a learning process, a change for the better and fulfilling my new destiny. I think that’s all we can do. I guess I’ll have to learn patience after all…
For further reading:
Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
and
There's No Good Campfires Left In Hell on Amazon/Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00H7CZ590
Or Paperback at http://www.lulu.com/shop/kate-monahan/theres-no-good-campfires-left-in-hell/paperback/product-21276242.html