Everything in life is rad. Plans are falling into place, the universe comes bearing gifts and all the premonitions point to the positive.
But there’s that on thing, a slight annoyance or insecurity.
You realize you’re blessed, but doubt has creeped in. Self, in others and life itself.
How, why?
Isn’t that all incredibly silly?
Why shit on a good thing? Or be in a crap mood when everything is fine? Hell, it’s better than fine, it’s amazing. Yet still you pick it apart and find potential problems. Or because something small isn’t playing out exactly to how you want it, your mood plummets.
Okay. I’ll stop saying you; because really, heh, this is all about me. Me and my bullshit problems.
Opportunity has knocked, one I invited and expected. But it brought friends. Friends I didn’t know it had connections to.
Surprise! Life just got super fucking cool, Bitch. So why are you crying? What the fuck are you bitching about?
“But that hasn’t happened yet! You made that up!” My inner positive side says.
“Butttttttttttt,” says the negative.
“Shut the fuck up! Both of you!” Is what I say. Sometimes out loud. And that just scares people.
SO, what the fuck? (As you can tell, I’m particularly annoyed with this). Why am I doing this to myself?
Maybe because I’m used to things not coming to fruition because prior to these last 18 months, I’d get fucked up and fuck it up.
Because I’m not used to the positive and good, I have to poke holes in happiness. And how many times have I said not to do that? Ridiculous.
It’s subconscious and it’s stupid. And that’s my mantra. Subconscious and stupid. Beat it, Dummy. It’s all good here.
So I close my eyes. Inhale hard. Plug my nose and don’t breath for ten seconds. That’s how I hit restart. And as I exhale, I open my eyes. Like I’m waking up.
This clears the horse shit out of my head.
It also generates strange looks, but I don’t give a fuck about that. It’s actually a bonus because it means less social interaction with the general population, scatter!
So. I’ve found that no matter how good life gets, my inner asshole will find a problem or shine a black light on it.
I just have to sucker punch that bitch back into the back of my brain and not let it effect me. Not let it sour my mood or make me doubt myself or positive happenings.
I have a feeling this is going to take a few more tries. I’m just getting started with this new and improved self, you know.
Buy Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon today! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan
But there’s that on thing, a slight annoyance or insecurity.
You realize you’re blessed, but doubt has creeped in. Self, in others and life itself.
How, why?
Isn’t that all incredibly silly?
Why shit on a good thing? Or be in a crap mood when everything is fine? Hell, it’s better than fine, it’s amazing. Yet still you pick it apart and find potential problems. Or because something small isn’t playing out exactly to how you want it, your mood plummets.
Okay. I’ll stop saying you; because really, heh, this is all about me. Me and my bullshit problems.
Opportunity has knocked, one I invited and expected. But it brought friends. Friends I didn’t know it had connections to.
Surprise! Life just got super fucking cool, Bitch. So why are you crying? What the fuck are you bitching about?
“But that hasn’t happened yet! You made that up!” My inner positive side says.
“Butttttttttttt,” says the negative.
“Shut the fuck up! Both of you!” Is what I say. Sometimes out loud. And that just scares people.
SO, what the fuck? (As you can tell, I’m particularly annoyed with this). Why am I doing this to myself?
Maybe because I’m used to things not coming to fruition because prior to these last 18 months, I’d get fucked up and fuck it up.
Because I’m not used to the positive and good, I have to poke holes in happiness. And how many times have I said not to do that? Ridiculous.
It’s subconscious and it’s stupid. And that’s my mantra. Subconscious and stupid. Beat it, Dummy. It’s all good here.
So I close my eyes. Inhale hard. Plug my nose and don’t breath for ten seconds. That’s how I hit restart. And as I exhale, I open my eyes. Like I’m waking up.
This clears the horse shit out of my head.
It also generates strange looks, but I don’t give a fuck about that. It’s actually a bonus because it means less social interaction with the general population, scatter!
So. I’ve found that no matter how good life gets, my inner asshole will find a problem or shine a black light on it.
I just have to sucker punch that bitch back into the back of my brain and not let it effect me. Not let it sour my mood or make me doubt myself or positive happenings.
I have a feeling this is going to take a few more tries. I’m just getting started with this new and improved self, you know.
Buy Hi, Have You Met Me? on Amazon today! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B009W1M
Check out the blog on it's home site @
www.hihaveyoumetme.com for previous writings and more.
Don’t forget to stalk me further at https://twitter.com/#!/hihaveyoumetme orhttp://www.facebook.com/authorkatemonahan